An alibi for a life….

Each one of us goes through life hoping that we made a difference….that our presence mattered in the grand scheme of things; for the short time we are in the state of consciousness….thinking we know exactly what we want out of life…setting and unsetting priorities….looking for an alibi for a life…probably that’s why people marry…to ensure that their lives didn’t go unnoticed….their children and spouse…a testament to their time spent on earth…

As for me, I have yet to outgrow that adolescent preoccupation of figuring out where I am headed in life….what I want out of it, and what I m willing to give…I keep waiting for that epiphany…a sudden awakening to my role in the grand scheme of things…a call for my vocation….thus explaining my predilection for uncertainty; probably one of the multitude of opportunities it spawns might lead me to my THE GOAL in life…

Then again…I have been searching so long….that have developed a comfortable familiarity with instability…trying to escape the wastefulness of a routinely led life…am almost beginning to accept this exploration as THE GOAL of my life…probably there are others like me, I hope…who are destined to be the travelers….their lives one long saga of exploration….just like the bees….whose goal is to flit from flower to flower….thus contributing their bit in the name of the bigger cause of pollination…

And I do believe we have a role to play in the bigger scheme of things….a part to perform in the grand saga of the universe…we all like to arrogantly think that our decisions are ours alone…attributed to what is called ‘free will’…but then what is destiny? Does it exist? And has it already been written? Are we then mere puppets that are given the illusion of free will to keep them happy?

There is a lot I am confused about…