Voices in my head…

There are voices all around me
My enemies and my friends
Do this, dont do that
The chorus never ends
But I shall always listen to that quiet inner voice
Its strong and gentle; and I have made my choice..

…….familiar strains of a hymn learnt long back…when life was simple…choices were uncomplicated…and thinking meant deciding what to wear at my best friend’s birthday party…

As years flew by, and I ‘wisened’ up to the ways of the adult world…I realized it became more and more complicated to keep life simple…the no. and gravity of decisions I had to make each day just kept on rising exponentially…and a day came when I realized I had a problem….which has caused me endless suffering over the years…I cant seem to stop thinking…..ever.

There is just no place for silence in my head anymore…and it is scary….coz I know,
‘its the spaces between the notes, that create the music’ …

Preoccupied all my waking hours…(and mostly the dreaming hours too), trying to sort out the voices in my head…sifting through the barrage of probabilities, possibilities, consequences of decisions already taken, and those to be taken in future…people and places….hopes and fears….conversations already had and the thoughts I have yet to put in words…mental attack and defense…..past regrets and wishes for future….thinking about friends tht have become strangers, and strangers which will be my friends….

Imagination has almost become a curse…the need to escape becoming more and more frequent…